Counselors Making Tons of $$$$$ off the Infertile

Okay, it's taken me 3 days to calm down from our couseling appointment, and just thinking about it again is getting me elevated.  I don't think I've been so pissed in a long time.  We got to our mandatory 2 hour counseling appointment that is costing $250.  The counselor leads us into a conference room where there are big tables and 2 test booklets and answer sheets.  She tells us that we each have to take a personality test that will take us about 45 minutes and that she would be back to check on us in 30 minutes.  She tells us not to talk to each other and leaves.  We both look at the FREAKING THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY QUESTIONS and I lose it.  I start swearing at the fact that we're being punished once again for not being able to get pregnant on our own.  Then Dave looks up and notices that we're being video-recorded.  Nice.  The questionnaire had about 10 questions that were asked in a million different ways to try to see if they could catch you up.  The gist of the questions:  1)  Do you hear voices in your head?  2)  Do you ever think about killing yourself?  3) Do drugs and alcohol ruin your live?  4)  Do you engage in risky behavior?  The questions were absolutely ridiculous.  I was pissed off and upset to sit there and do that "behavior" test.    Then, the counselor came in and we had to both relay if our brothers/sisters were happily on the way through life as parents and how that makes us feel.  (It feels real nice, thanks for asking!)  She asked what we would do if we didn't get pregnant after spending all this money (even though she was also grabbing fistfulls of our money too).  The appointment was bullshit.  In order for us to go forward, she has to score our personality tests and let the doctor know that we are going to be 'okay' candidates.  She must love that power.  And here's the kicker:  She says that she's "swamped" and it's going to take a while until she lets our doctor know.  But.......her effing (sorry) bill showed up in our mailbox 2 days later......she had time to get that out.  Really dear counselor, take your time.  You're being allowed to play God with my life - enjoy it.  Make us wait.  I'm getting younger by the day.  And why pressure yourself by getting information to the doctor that would allow us to start this procedure in one week?  By all means,  we can wait for another complete cycle.....what's another month?  It's not your life.

Surgery done

I went in for surgery last Friday.   It was fast.  I was in and out in less than 4 hours.  No restrictions.  I worked out on Sunday and started running the next day.  Yay!  The doc says the biopsies to test for cancer will be back in 5 days.  He's not concerned at all because he said they were polyps, not tumors this time.   The surgery, however, puts us in a setback for a whole month while I heal inside.  Frustrating.  This dealio could ruin our whole summer.  We want to rent a beach house in NC, but we can't until we know what's going on with our procedures.  Really, really frustrating.  

Dave's stupid schedule

Dave finally got in contact with the counselor.  Turns out that Dave's NYC meeting was cancelled and we could have gone to the May 5th appointment, but we couldn't get it back.  So, now we have a 3 week set-back and can't get in to see the counselor until the end of May.

I'm also feeling horrible guilt because I basically guilted Dave into cancelling a meeting in NYC on the 13th so he could take me to my surgery.  I know it was an important meeting.  I know I could have gotten myself to surgery, had it, and then waited for Dave to fly home and get me.   I'm sure I would have been fine.   I probably should have just done it myself, but the surgical nurse has asked me TWICE if I had someone who would be here and take me home after the surgery.  She also doesn't want me to be alone for 24 hours after the surgery.  I don't know why.  I basically lied to her twice because I knew Dave wanted to be in NYC.  It made me angry that I had to have the surgery and Dave got to "not deal with it".  I'm a human pin cushion.  He doesn't get that.