Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Ohhhh Shit!
The doc called Dave today with the answer to his question: No we may NOT chose an egg donor before my mock cycle is over. Dave is pissed now. Ha~ Welcome to the club. So Dave told the doctor that this was unacceptable. He told him to have the coordinator of the whole program call him. He gave him a deadline of my 43rd birthday in October to have us done with this egg donor procedure. He was ready to tell the doctor that if we are going to gamble our $18,000 at "Strong Casino", we should at least get a free drink. That's customer service. This makes me nervous. Instead of the tall, thin, smart egg donor......the office is going to be mad at us and secretly give us a 16 year old high school drop out crack-dealer's egg. I just know this. This is not going to end well.
Ooops.....my bad
So, I'm supposed to start my lupron shots this morning. They were supposed to get delivered yesterday. I was storming around the house this morning. Called the pharmacy. Demanded that someone call me back. Took my phone on my run just in case the pharmacist called me. No call. Bitched to Dave. Stormed around the house. Complained to all who would listen on Facebook. Opened up my Google calendar - noticed that today is WEDNESDAY! Huh? Oh, the woes of not working in the summer. I thought it was Thursday. I have no idea what day it is. I'm supposed to start the shots tomorrow. It's a damn good thing I didn't have them here or I would have potentially screwed this month up. Drugs should come today. All is well. It appears that I cannot stay productive unless I'm doing a million things at once and my calendar is booked. Hopefully I can protect myself from my own self!
Monday, June 27, 2011
Sobfest
We had a doctor's appointment this morning for my "mock transfer". Not bad, done in less than 10 minutes. Now we both have to go for a bunch of bloodwork to make sure we don't have any STD's or AIDS. Can I tell you how many times we've both had to get tested for this junk? Does it matter that we've already had all these tests? Nope. "It's just part of our procedure."
After the mock transfer we met with the egg donor coordinator, thinking we would be looking at donor profiles. Again, nope. "Sorry, we can't do that until after you're done with your mock drug cycle. It's part of our procedure." Dave kind of lost it in his "Dave-way". We've had so many set-backs. Dave asked if we could look at donor profiles NOW and as soon as my mock drug cycle is done, be ready to MOVE on a donor. This would potentially get us about 1 month closer. They couldn't answer this question, and quite honestly the egg donor coordinator was completely pissing us both off with her non-answers. The doctor is meeting with the head of the donor program tomorrow and will be asking this question for us. I don't think they're going to go for it. I think Dave is going to flip out on them.
The stress of all this, in addition to the fact that Dave cannot understand why it's so upsetting for me to have so many friends/family all having babies right now had me in tears all the way to the appointment, during the appointment, and after the appointment. This is killing me. I need someone to talk to. My mom......or a counselor. Sob.
After the mock transfer we met with the egg donor coordinator, thinking we would be looking at donor profiles. Again, nope. "Sorry, we can't do that until after you're done with your mock drug cycle. It's part of our procedure." Dave kind of lost it in his "Dave-way". We've had so many set-backs. Dave asked if we could look at donor profiles NOW and as soon as my mock drug cycle is done, be ready to MOVE on a donor. This would potentially get us about 1 month closer. They couldn't answer this question, and quite honestly the egg donor coordinator was completely pissing us both off with her non-answers. The doctor is meeting with the head of the donor program tomorrow and will be asking this question for us. I don't think they're going to go for it. I think Dave is going to flip out on them.
The stress of all this, in addition to the fact that Dave cannot understand why it's so upsetting for me to have so many friends/family all having babies right now had me in tears all the way to the appointment, during the appointment, and after the appointment. This is killing me. I need someone to talk to. My mom......or a counselor. Sob.
Baby and drug woes
There have been a slew of new babies in my life again. This month was particulary hard since this would have been the month we were "due" had that huge surgery worked out last June. I'm sure I'm not the only crazy person who thinks like this, planning things way out into the future.....things that haven't even happened yet. Every time I have an IUI or IVF, I know my "due" date. Very depressing. I'm finally "wading through" the emotionally turbulent waters of visiting all the new babies, and sending all the baby cards, and buying all the baby gifts. The babies are beautiful, of course. I'm happy for their parents. It just makes me sad for Dave and me.
I'm in the middle of a mock drug cycle. The pharmacy can't get my lupron shots. I need to start them in 2 days. There is a world-wide shortage. Oh, and my insurance probably does not cover the drugs. I'm in the hole over $300 for this month on drugs alone.......and I haven't even bought the lupron shots and needles. The bitch of all this is that I might have to scrap the whole cycle (along with the already sunk $300) if I can't get the lupron shots. We're seeing the doctor this morning. I convinced Dave to come with me. He cancelled a meeting for it. It's always unclear exactly "what" is included in this new $16,000 endevor. Apparently drugs may not be included - which is going to run us extra thousands of dollars. I'm so glad that Dave is coming and dealing with this. There is so much stress for me: the drugs, the doctor appointments, the money, Dave getting mad about the cost. It never ends. And other people's babies keep coming. :/
I'm in the middle of a mock drug cycle. The pharmacy can't get my lupron shots. I need to start them in 2 days. There is a world-wide shortage. Oh, and my insurance probably does not cover the drugs. I'm in the hole over $300 for this month on drugs alone.......and I haven't even bought the lupron shots and needles. The bitch of all this is that I might have to scrap the whole cycle (along with the already sunk $300) if I can't get the lupron shots. We're seeing the doctor this morning. I convinced Dave to come with me. He cancelled a meeting for it. It's always unclear exactly "what" is included in this new $16,000 endevor. Apparently drugs may not be included - which is going to run us extra thousands of dollars. I'm so glad that Dave is coming and dealing with this. There is so much stress for me: the drugs, the doctor appointments, the money, Dave getting mad about the cost. It never ends. And other people's babies keep coming. :/
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Mock cycle and no vacation
So, I started my mock medication cycle. I'm glad I've been through this before, or the nurse's phone call would have scared me to death. In less than a minute she named off my schedule for the next week:
1) June 15 - start pills
2) June 28 - mock transfer
3) June 30 - start Lupron injections
4) July 9 - start Estogen patch
5) July 15 - bloodwork
6) July 19 - ultrasound
Nothing to it. Except for the fact that this goes right through our vacation week and I can't leave town while I'm doing it. I will make an attempt to change our vacation to August, but I have severe doubts that this will work out. Looks like no vacation this summer. Please let this be worth it.
1) June 15 - start pills
2) June 28 - mock transfer
3) June 30 - start Lupron injections
4) July 9 - start Estogen patch
5) July 15 - bloodwork
6) July 19 - ultrasound
Nothing to it. Except for the fact that this goes right through our vacation week and I can't leave town while I'm doing it. I will make an attempt to change our vacation to August, but I have severe doubts that this will work out. Looks like no vacation this summer. Please let this be worth it.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
FML
I had my post op appointment today. I took a half a day off of work. I drove into the city. I paid a $15 co-pay. I waited over 40 minutes in a bare room to see the doctor. The appointment lasted 2 minutes: Any problems after your surgery? Nope. Any bleeding? Nope. Okay, everything looked good during the surgery. You're all set.
WHAT?????? Are you kidding? It is clear that there are so many people who make shitloads of money off of people who can't get pregnant. That appointment was a joke. He said we can't go any further until the counselor turns in her report. Hmmmmmm, well, the counselor is just "swamped" so that's not going to happen anytime soon. It was my understanding that all of these procedures would be done this summer and I would then know if I was going forward in life with a baby or not. Nope. Everybody is on hold until this counselor gets her report done. That means we also have to put our vacation plans on hold. This is so utterly unfair....it chokes me up.
I asked to see the Egg Donor Coordinator to get an idea of what lies ahead. She said she really can't tell me until the counselor gets her report in. In one week, I will be allowed to start my "mock cycle". This is the cycle that the doctor said is very easy and they will just put an estrogen patch on me. Well......turns out that that ISN'T all there is to it. I have to be on the pill, have an estrogen patch, give myself lupron shots every day, have blood taken every 3 days, and come in for several ultra-sounds. I am beyond frustrated. And the clock keeps ticking. And our vacation is drifting away. Quite honestly, we're probably looking at end of summer or early fall now.
WHAT?????? Are you kidding? It is clear that there are so many people who make shitloads of money off of people who can't get pregnant. That appointment was a joke. He said we can't go any further until the counselor turns in her report. Hmmmmmm, well, the counselor is just "swamped" so that's not going to happen anytime soon. It was my understanding that all of these procedures would be done this summer and I would then know if I was going forward in life with a baby or not. Nope. Everybody is on hold until this counselor gets her report done. That means we also have to put our vacation plans on hold. This is so utterly unfair....it chokes me up.
I asked to see the Egg Donor Coordinator to get an idea of what lies ahead. She said she really can't tell me until the counselor gets her report in. In one week, I will be allowed to start my "mock cycle". This is the cycle that the doctor said is very easy and they will just put an estrogen patch on me. Well......turns out that that ISN'T all there is to it. I have to be on the pill, have an estrogen patch, give myself lupron shots every day, have blood taken every 3 days, and come in for several ultra-sounds. I am beyond frustrated. And the clock keeps ticking. And our vacation is drifting away. Quite honestly, we're probably looking at end of summer or early fall now.
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