Donor choosen

Both donor's profiles are in a crumpled ball somewhere on the floor in our house.  The stress of this is just about killing us.  Our summer vacation has officially been dumped, and I really do think it was desperately needed this year.  So after MUCH "discussion" (aka screaming at each other), we have settled on the taller, blue-eyed donor.  The only thing is, it has taken us a WEEK to come to this consensus.  On Monday, we will call and get that started. I do have a tiny fear that they have already given this donor up to someone else as we have argued ourselves silly.  Monday will tell.

Choosing our gene pool = intense arguments

Last week we got 2 donor profiles. One is a 5'7" girl with hazel eyes and one is a 5'9" girl with blue eyes.  I got attached to the 5'9" girl's profile and was ready to GO!  Dave wasn't able to come home that week and when he did, he didn't want to discuss the profiles.  He's pissed that the doctor didn't send us these weeks back, like he had requested.  He travels all the time and doesn't want to have to make a decision quickly.  Every time we try to talk about the donor, we get in an argument.  Severe arguments!!  It's brutal.  I've probably hung up on him over 5 times this week.  He doesn't like the donors because they are too old (30 and 32).  He wants someone younger, even if they don't meet all our criteria for a donor.  He knows we would have a better chance with a younger donor.  He wants her to be 25 years or younger.  He made me call the doctor and ask for them to send us younger girls' profiles to look at.  They told me they didn't have any.  Not acceptable to Dave.  When we switched to Strong, we were told they had TONS of donors to pick from.  Dave wants to be able to go there and look through them all.  He doesn't want them choosing 2 for us to pick from.  He has a point.  But, I am past having control of this whole thing.  We control nothing.  The doctor controls everything.

Dave continued to get more and more pissed off.  He kept having me call the doctor.  And then he would verbally beat me up when I would deliver the message.  I hated every minute of it.  And I was hooked on the tall, blue eyed donor.  That really worked for me.   And they told me if we didn't make up our mind quickly to use that donor, they would have to offer her to someone else.  Dave called the doctor this morning and found out that Strong only has FIVE donors!!!!!!  That's it!  Seriously?  They made it sound like they had hundreds to pick from.  He will come home at midnight today and we will talk and choose one.  Moving forward, one centimeter at a time.  It will be amazing if our relationship lasts throught this.

A complete pain in my....

HEAD!  Migraines have become a regular part of my life as I go through these shot cycles.  As soon as I'm about a week into the shots, I usually get a migraine so bad that I end up in the emergency room.  That happened again today.  The pain woke me up.  My perscription migraine meds didn't help.  I called Urgent Care, hoping they could help me for my co-pay of $15.  Nope.  Emergency room was the only option and that costs $50 for that glorious shot of pain-relief.  But, because it's a drug induced migraine, it will come back.  Instead, I put ice on my head and stayed in bed until mid-afternoon.  When the pain lessened to a measley regular bad head-ache, I was able to enjoy this beautiful summer day.  I hate these drugs!!

What to Expect When She's Not Expecting

Dave is completely frustrating me.  He really does not get it.  We must argue on a daily basis about baby stuff.  While I am shooting myself up with insane hormones and going to embarassing and degrading gyno appointments, he sits back and tells me that it's not normal for me to "act all crazy" when someone close to us has a baby.  Yesterday's was a whopper.  I told him how afraid I am to do the hip injections of Progesterone in Oil. (In my defense, these really are horrible shots and they may have to happen daily for 12 weeks) Since Dave is not always here, I either have to do them myself or find someone to do them for me.  They have to be done at the same time each morning.  Since it's a 2 inch needle and I'm horrified at giving myself shots, I am not going to be doing these shots myself.  It's all I can do to get through the 20 days of little Lupron shots in my stomach.  He is pissed at me.  He can't understand why this is such a big deal.  If he is paying all this money, the least I can do is take care of my own shots.  It's all I can do not to strangle him.  He upsets me so much.  All he had to say was, "I would be afraid of those too.  We'll figure something out together."  Nope, he tells me I'm crazy and selfish and a chicken.  That just earned him a book that I ordered off of Amazon last night:  "What to Expect When She's not Expecting".  Hopefully it will tell him how to understand me, sympathize with me, and handle me.  It better get here soon, his life may depend on it.  PS - Just for the record, I asked him to use one of my little Lupron needles and just stick it in his stomach.  Nope, he won't do that.  I'm sure it scares him.