Shot update

Well, I have given in to letting Dave "practice" giving me my Lupron shots.  I don't like this at all, but I'm resigned to the fact that he is going to have to give me many of those big shots in a couple of weeks, so I want him to get comfortable with jabbing me.  He's doing fine, but this is a tiny needle and easy to give.  I'm still completely freaking out with the shots that will start on September 13th.  I was able to get a friend of mine to give me the shots when Dave is not here.  Hopefully, the plan will be that I stop at her house each morning on the way to school.  If it turns out that I'm pregnant (which I am becoming less and less hopeful about the closer we get to the transfer), I'm thinking that my "diagnosis" of infertility will change and I might be able to get the insurance company to send a visiting nurse.  We'll see.

The doctor never called Dave back about a written contract.  We're really, really displeased with Strong.  Our last fertility doctor was so accomodating and always available.  Strong is a factory.....and we are on an assembly line.  They don't even fake that we mean anything to them.  It's a really crappy feeling.  Sooooo......Dave ended up calling them today and giving them his credit card sans contract.  I hope we don't get screwed.

I can't handle this anymore

I have just spent over an hour and half on the phone between my insurance company and home care nursing.  Blue Cross Blue Shield will NOT cover a nurse giving me my shots because it is not "medically necessary".  This coming right after my half hour conversation on the phone with them the other day when they told me it was 100% covered and gave me the names of all the local home care agencies.  I was crying so hard on the phone that she basically just couldn't say "no" to me one more time.  They told me to do all this "busy" work getting a script, scheduling with the home care agency, and submitting the claim so they could review it to see if it was medically necessary.  WTF?  I'm not an idiot.  I KNOW it's not medically necessary!  I know she just wanted my crying ass off the phone.   I'm so upset.  I could go to my neighbor or my friend or Dave's mom for these shots.....but I just want ONE person to do them for me.  I don't want to have to pull my pants down for every person in the world.  I don't want 3 different people to have to figure out how to do these horrible oil shots.  I could drive to Strong for the shots (except for weekends), but then I won't be here to get Evan ont he bus and will be late to school every day.

And all this is on the heels of Dave trying to get a contract to pay the $16,500 yesterday.  They just want a credit card.  There is no written contract.  You pay and if things don't proceed for whatever reason, they refund parts of your money. What parts you ask?  Oh, they have a price list.  Apparently that is not our business.  Dave spoke to the doctor several times yesterday, getting called out of meetings, and they basically just want us to "trust" them.  Everyone else does.  They are a bunch of vultures preying on people who are emotional wrecks.  And I am a complete wreck today.

I fucking give up.

Bye-bye $$$

I've officially started prepping for this project this past weekend.  I'm doing my daily shots and pills and whatnot.  The medication schedule is a nightmare and will run my life for the next 37 days until I find out if I'm pregnant.  Then, if I am pregnant, it will continue.  I've been in contact with my insurance company and home care nursing, trying to find someone to give me the big shots that start in 3 weeks.  I would do anything to avoid these shots.  I spent 2 hours on the phone trying to get this nailed down.  No luck yet, but some leads.  Tomorrow Dave is going to hand over the $16,500 for our big gamble.  I really, really, really hope that this works, because that is our deck and hot-tub money going down the drain.  It's hard to hand over another huge chunk of money after our last 10K went down the drain in a failed IVF just 7 months ago.  This gambling blows.

How???

Starting in September, I will need to get a shot in my hip every morning.  It IS possible to give these shots to yourself, but I am absolutely scared to do it.  It's progesterone in a thick oil, in a BIG needle.  They are not pleasant.  This is our new argument.  We are just about killing each other over this.  Dave thinks that me giving myself this shot is an option.  It is not.  I will not/can not do it.  Dave wants to also give me these shots when he is home for the weekends.  Dave passes out at the sight of blood.  I do not think he's capable of taking on this responsibility.  I made him call Urgent Care and see if I could go there to get the shot.  They refuse, unless they prescribe the shot.  I've put an ad on Craigslist.  For my piece of mind, I would really love to have ONE person versed and responsible for giving me these shots.  Dave is not able to understand this.  We hate each other.  He never believed me that infertility ruined my first marriage.  I'm so sick of him not understanding. This ALL SUCKS.  How am I going to get these shots for 2-12 weeks?

It's a GO!

Strong called today.  We are able to use the donor that we chose.  Now we are trying to sync the donor's cycle with mine.  They will call on Monday with more detailed dates, but here's what it will potentially look like:

First week of Sept:  donor does stim drugs
Second week:  I get ultrasound and bloodwork
Around Sept. 16/18th - transfer

......a little excited.