Baby and drug woes

There have been a slew of new babies in my life again.  This month was particulary hard since this would have been the month we were "due" had that huge surgery worked out last June.  I'm sure I'm not the only crazy person who thinks like this, planning things way out into the future.....things that haven't even happened yet.  Every time I have an IUI or IVF, I know my "due" date.  Very depressing.  I'm finally "wading through" the emotionally turbulent waters of visiting all the new babies, and sending all the baby cards, and buying all the baby gifts.  The babies are beautiful, of course.  I'm happy for their parents.  It just makes me sad for Dave and me.

I'm in the middle of a mock drug cycle.  The pharmacy can't get my lupron shots.  I need to start them in 2 days.  There is a world-wide shortage.  Oh, and my insurance probably does not cover the drugs.  I'm in the hole over $300 for this month on drugs alone.......and I haven't even bought the lupron shots and needles.  The bitch of all this is that I might have to scrap the whole cycle (along with the already sunk $300) if I can't get the lupron shots.  We're seeing the doctor this morning.  I convinced Dave to come with me. He cancelled a meeting for it.  It's always unclear exactly "what" is included in this new $16,000 endevor.  Apparently drugs may not be included - which is going to run us extra thousands of dollars.  I'm so glad that Dave is coming and dealing with this.  There is so much stress for me:  the drugs, the doctor appointments, the money, Dave getting mad about the cost.  It never ends.  And other people's babies keep coming.  :/